Time to be a journalist with the 5 W’s. Begin by writing your own story. It’s the one that matters most anyway.
Thanks Marianne Mullen.
What do you want to do today? Tomorrow? With the rest of your life? Whose permission or approval are you waiting for?
I sometimes find it challenging to stay in the now. I go back, I go forward. Neither direction provides the calm, quiet, confident, easy space of right now.
Where are you?
(Thanks Alison Graddock)
I don’t know about you, but there are times I really wish life could be safer. Predictable. Easy. Like math, you know? 1+1=2. Well, elementary school math.
Here’s the thing. Life is filled with the unknown. From the moment we are born to the moment we die, the unknown is perhaps the most predictable part of our lives. Even how long a span it will be between those moments is unknown. And for those of you who claim you could take your life and KNOW, let me tell you, my father has seen some really ugly botched suicide attempts in his line of work, so even THAT is not as predictable as we might like to think. Just sad.
Meanwhile, many of us run around trying to avoid taking risks. We resist being vulnerable in our relationships, we try to shore up money in our savings accounts, we control what we eat in an attempt to control how we look, we learn to say and do all the correct things so we don’t offend anyone. And sometimes that works. More often, we end up in knots — stressed, unhappy, unhealthy, and still feeling out of control.
Because there are all these variables we can never control: the other person, the economy, time, and the rules of society, for example.
But we CAN control our thoughts. We can begin to understand that only by taking risks can we actually begin to express our true selves, and align with our fullest and highest potential. I’m not talking about stupid risks that are likely to cause harm to ourselves or others — that’s simply careless. I’m talking about taking risks like being willing to be open and vulnerable, being willing to be true to who we really are at our core, to project that out into the world, to speak our truth, to hold our heads up high and look the world straight in the eye and say I AM.
And then be willing to face the consequences. Not everyone will like us. That’s ok. The people who do will REALLY like us — and they will like who we really are, not some fake person who doesn’t truly exist anyway. Not everyone will approve. That’s ok. Approval doesn’t amount to much more than popularity. If you look long enough, someone will approve of just about anything. It’s doesn’t count for much.
Here is what I know. You have to DO something to see results. Ambivalence and passivity do produce results, but not the kind I’m talking about. Waiting doesn’t do it. To make a change in your life, to create the life, the relationship, the career, the YOU you envision having, you have to take action. And that requires taking some risks.
Go for it.
We struggle in life because of a tenacious habit of wanting life to be different from what it is: The room you are in is too warm, you don’t like your job, or your partner isn’t quite the person of your dreams. You adjust the thermostat, get a new job, or tell your partner what you need. Now it’s too cool, you are earning less money, or your partner has found some flaws in you. The more we try to make life conform to our desires, the more we struggle, and the more we suffer. The only way out of this vicious cycle is to accept what arises, completely…
Paradoxically, such radical acceptance opens a way of living that we could hardly have imagined.