What the fuck?!

If you read my pedi post (doesn’t that sound fun?) you know that I love deep tissue, all the way. So it will come as no surprise that I prefer my massages to be intense experiences.

And that means I have a hard time finding a good masseur/euse. I’ve been to a variety of spas and chiropractic offices, and had the fortune of being in relationships where people enjoyed rubbing my back. But I’ve found only one massage therapist in all my experiences who truly gave a fantastic massage.

For me, it comes down to a combination of pressure and timing. And in my experience, just as with sex, massage therapists are either too fast or not deep enough. Or both, which is even worse. So I end up feeling either completely beaten up, which is not at all relaxing, which happens most often with “deep tissue” therapists, or I end up feeling like I had a lot of foreplay, but no real action, which happens most often with any other massage technique. Either way, complete frustration is the result, and my muscles are no less tense than when I started.

I’ve tried communicating. “Slower please.” “Harder please.” “Deeper please.” “Could you stay there a little longer please?” To no avail. It’s almost as if the massage therapist has decided they know what my body needs more than I do.

Which reminds me of way too many ex-lovers.

But, to get back on track. Massage. The benefits are many, as we know. Self massage is great for certain areas, like the hands or neck. But to have someone else do the work is a complete luxury and worth every penny spent.

If you can get the pressure and the timing right, that is. If anyone has a tip for finding a great deep tissue therapist who has very slow and strong hands, please let me know.

So, pedicures are one of the last luxuries I will give up. Ever. It’s not just the fact that I truly enjoy having pretty feet and cutely colored toes. Or that the massage chairs are awesome. Or that it is much easier to have someone else do all that work than for me to hunch over for an hour or more and do it myself (and not as neatly, either). Or that I could never amass that many colors of polish.

No, the biggest reason I will keep the pedicures is that I love having my feet massaged. And having them massaged while getting all the benefits mentioned above seems like a no-brainer.

Besides, there are health benefits for foot massage. Reflexology has fascinated me since I discovered its existence a while back. The idea that my body is benefiting elsewhere while my feet are getting massaged is just an awesome bonus that earns the universe another nod of gratitude.

I’m particularly curious about why some parts of my feet are more tender than others. I am a sucker for pain, though, so I love having those sore spots really worked over hard. Deep tissue, all the way. I can sometimes feel other parts of my body tingling from afar. It’s a really interesting experience.

If you’re curious about reflexology, check out the charts included in this article: http://alternativemedicinesresources.com/tag/reflexology-charts/.

But meanwhile, go get a pedicure. In the middle of winter it is particularly luxurious, and your tootsies will thank you. You’ll know how adorable they are even hidden under thick socks. That’s worth the trip, don’t you think?

 livehanny answered: I love their line of chakra balancing. I want to get the one for my root chakra.

Thanks for your comment, livehanny. I used the root chakra mist this week while I was stuck at my desk in virtual training every day. Here’s a tip: mist it on the tops of your thighs (lightly, and not on silk or anything else that might be stained — I was wearing jeans, so this was perfectly safe) when you’re seated for long periods. The scent will continually rise up, and your nose will be directly above, where you can take best advantage of all the benefits.

There is something really sexy about moving your body. Well, moving it in a way that you like, that is. For some of us, that means running miles every morning. For others, that means wiggling our feet from the sofa.

You’ve known for a long time that the more you move, the better you feel. So let’s get out of the box here and explore some new ways to move that can help us connect to our physical selves in ways that feel…well, sexy.

Belly dancing: Sexy costumes, bells on your ankles, finger cymbals, and you don’t have to have a flat and toned belly to shimmy and shake. In fact, you can’t shimmy and shake a perfectly flat and toned belly. Go for it. http://www.bellydanceclasses.net/

Pole dancing: This is the latest rage in fitness circles, and not for the faint of heart. Have you seen these girls? This is a competition sport! Check it out: http://uspoledance.com/uspoledance_videos/606333743001_pole_dance_video.php

Zumba: They call it the Latin-inspired dance fitness party. Arrrriba! http://www.zumba.com/us/

Don’t want to leave your house? Try the Pussycat Dolls Workout Video. There’s a reason the men stand up with their mouths open when these girls are on stage.

No matter what you choose, the idea here is to move it, and move it with complete gusto. Get into it, embrace your inner sex goddess, and feel like a million bucks. That’s one giant step in the direction of getting over the relationship blues.